Blossoming After Burnout

Blossoming After Burnout

“Any action is often better than no action, especially if you have been stuck in an unhappy situation for a long time. If it is a mistake, at least you learn something. In which case, it’s no longer a mistake. If you remain stuck, you learn nothing.”

Eckhart Tolle
Whether you’re an avid reader or this is your first time here, welcome! Our typical blog content is packed with invaluable information about connecting the dots in the hiring process to grow your company. But from time to time, we get a chance to change it up and share stories about our outstanding DotConnect team. We love celebrating our people here because we wouldn’t exist without their continued support and hard work.
At DotConnect, we believe that everyone’s story is unique, and sharing that story can empower others and promote growth. Life is one of the greatest teachers, and sharing our experiences can significantly impact the world around us.
Today, we are sharing the story of our fearless leader, founder, and CEO, Dom Farnan. Dom’s vision for our company helps us stay on track and provide exceptional services for our clients. According to her, she is “a humble student of the world, a writer, a deep thinker, and Enneagram 1, a lover of the ocean, a mother, and a conscious connector.”
Come along as Dom shares her story of self-healing after burnout. She will be the first to tell you that self-work isn’t always an easy process, but it is well worth the reward of discovery and inner peace.

Inner-Work Takes Time and Effort

Throughout 2020, Dom had made great strides toward healing in her life but was still in the early stages of her spiritual healing. She had made it through an economic shutdown, achieved an alt MBA, and consistently met with her coach, Angie Wisdom.
During one of their coaching sessions in January of the following year, Angie suggested that Dom read The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment by Eckhart Tolle. Reading this book sparked Dom’s desire to dive deeper into her spiritual journey.

“I read the book and sat with thoughts, observations, and learning. I felt this new awareness [inside of me]. It made light bulbs go off in my head, and I felt this spark kind of flare up in my heart — a feeling that I hadn’t felt in a long time. It was a calling back home to spirit, the divine universe, God, or whatever you want to call it.”

Dom Farnan
The things she learned from Tolle’s book sparked a desire to dive deeper into her consciousness. At first, this inward pull felt strange to Dom, but she allowed herself to be open to the process and let that feeling move her. While taking these first steps forward in her journey, she found that a force directed her path outside of herself — the universe guided her.

“I was in a Core Group meeting in February, and our guide asked us questions about our goals, our purpose for the year, and what we’re setting out to do. And she asked, ‘Who’s setting the pace for you with these goals and purpose?’ I just remember jaws drop on the call as I said the universe was setting the pace for me.”

Dom Farnan
At this moment, Dom felt connected to a divine source that showed her a bigger picture. And this feeling guided her through these early stages of spiritual healing and enlightenment. Shortly after feeling this connection, she felt an intense call to visit the ocean.
Dom is a Southern California native, and the ocean was an integral part of her life for years. However, between living at her current home in New Jersey and shelter-in-place orders, she could not see the ocean throughout the entire pandemic. During one of their coaching sessions, Dom let Angie know about this desire and that she just felt too busy to make it happen.

“Angie put me in check a little bit. She told me to get over myself, get in the car, and start driving, and that the only person who was too busy was my ego, ensuring that I wouldn’t create any joy in my life. So that’s what I did. I got in my car and went out to Montauk. That week quickly became one of the most pivotal weeks of my life.”

Dom Farnan
Driving to the beach and seeing the vast horizon of the ocean in front of her gave Dom the space she needed in her mind and heart to see herself clearly. Amid this moment of self-realization, she understood that she and her partner were on two different wavelengths at the time, and they needed to recenter their relationship.

Repairing Relationships Is Challenging

Dom found inspiration to take action in her life rather than let her surroundings remain unchanged between her coaching sessions with Angie and reading Eckhart Tolle’s book. This inspiration gave her the courage to speak with Gulliver, her partner, about their marriage’s unhealthy weight on her spirit.

“When we returned home the following week, it was Saturday afternoon, and something had come over me. I was sitting upstairs and just remember feeling like I had to say something because I wasn’t happy in our marriage anymore. I had had enough of the partying, drinking, and living like roommates. [That lifestyle] and the pandemic was all hitting me at the same time, … and I was feeling lonely in my marriage.”

Dom Farnan
This realization compelled Dom to walk downstairs and confront him about their lives and her desire to take steps toward healing in their relationship. Unfortunately, the response she received only amplified her current feeling of loneliness.

“I told him that something’s gotta give — either we go to therapy, or we split up. He quietly walked away, and I cried harder. In my mind, I was thinking, 'Is he even listening to me? What the hell? Does he even care? Why won’t he talk to me?' I was so hurt and so angry, but in our normal way, we swept it under the rug, and I didn’t truly feel hurt or acknowledged.”

Dom Farnan
This interaction kept them from taking crucial steps toward healing in their marriage. And instead of ignoring the issues, Dom decided to prioritize her journey toward inner peace by making a challenging decision. The only solution she could see at that moment was asking her partner to leave.

“I was terrified and unsure of what damage it might cause my son, but at the same time, I was going to stick with speaking my truth and holding my boundary. So [my partner] left for what felt like the longest two weeks of my life.”

Dom Farnan
Dom picked her son, Baxter, up from school on the first day of being on her own, and during the car ride home, Baxter let Dom know that he would show her how to take care of him because that was usually Daddy’s job and not hers. This statement pulled at her heart and revealed to Dom that her desire to excel professionally affected her connection with her son.
Later that day, Dom and Baxter developed a successful plan for the next couple of weeks. She then took on being both the worker and caretaker of her family. The following weeks of self-reliance opened her eyes to how her marriage enabled bad habits and helped her develop a clear vision of their need for change.

“First, I knew I still loved him, but I wasn’t willing to settle for an unhealthy love anymore. Second, I knew that we were both responsible for the deterioration of our marriage over the years. And third, I knew whatever happened from this point on was because I was staying in line with my boundaries and my values.”

Dom Farnan
After a period of silence, Dom and Gulliver began reopening lines of communication, and over the next couple of weeks, they decided that he needed to come home. However, the caveat would be that they would stay sober and participate in marriage counseling until they reached a good place in their marriage.
The following steps of their journey toward a better marriage were challenging and, at times, overwhelming. The first few therapy sessions were incredibly intense and seemed to deepen the rift between them further. Dom felt like it was not resonating with her spirit, resulting in continued loneliness, but change for the better was on the horizon — they just couldn’t see it yet.

Spiritual Healing Happens When You Are Open to It

Shortly after their first few therapy sessions, Dom received an invitation to join a Conscious Leader’s Retreat in Tulum, Mexico. Initially, she felt like the timing couldn’t be worse. Dom and her partner had just started on their journey toward a better marriage, but she had a feeling that something profound may happen on this retreat. After discussing the retreat with her partner, they decided it was an opportunity that shouldn’t be ignored.
So, she followed the call to attend the retreat with Gulliver’s full support of the decision. Before making the trip, Dom set the intention to connect with her grandmother’s spirit for guidance and healing during the retreat. On the first day there, she found her connection during a sunrise meditation.

“As I walked toward the beach, I remember a big warm gust of wind wrapping around me as if I was being hugged. It was so strong, like the presence of a person. … I knew it was my grandma’s presence, and tears started streaming down my face. The tightness I had been carrying for so long relented, and I felt like I was home.”

Dom Farnan
The rest of the week was an incredible experience for Dom, filled with healing, breathwork, creative play, meditation, and writing. These activities allowed her to reach deeper within herself and release the trauma she clung to for years.
While on the retreat, Dom also connected with a medicine woman who invited Dom and Gulliver to a plant healing ceremony in Costa Rica to help repair their marriage. She was intrigued, so she brought up the idea to Gulliver and was surprised by his openness to participate.

“It was essentially a burning down of our old marriage and starting with a fresh one after going deep into healing work. … It was the first trip alone in 10 years, and we were terrified. Would this be a mistake? Would we fight the whole time? What would come up in our healing journey?”

Dom Farnan
Over the next few days, they took a deep dive into their past — the trauma, resentment, hurt, and anger — and let it all go. They shed countless tears and released the things that had built walls between each other in their relationship. The result was a sensation of lightness and a renewed sense of love and compassion for one another. Ultimately, this feeling laid the new foundation to rebuild their marriage from the ground up.

Don’t Be Afraid to Start Your Journey to Inner Healing

We may try our best to ignore the things that cause brokenness in our lives, but pain, regret, and trauma affect everyone. To counteract those negative influences, everyone needs to journey toward inner healing. It will be a challenging road, but remaining steadfast on the path of inner work will help you become whole again.
Thanks for coming along with Dom on her journey toward inner peace and healing! We hope her experience influences you to take steps toward healing in your relationship with yourself and others. If you want to learn more about her journey toward healing, watch her presentations From Nowhere to Now Here and Blossoming After Burnout.
To learn more about our philosophy on hiring at DotConnect, visit us on LinkedIn, and be sure to follow Dom as well. She regularly shares tips on being more conscious in building and growing your team.